Hey there brainiacs...
I've never really shared how passionately I feel about performing and singing. My love for music and producing it from my lungs.
Many people have heard me sing but not to my fullest capacity. To this day only my partner in life has heard me belt out, and I think in the moments I perform for him I still hold back. The only time I really let myself go through my music is when I'm alone. Thinking about it now I think I know a couple of the many EXCUSES I have. At the top of them is my fear of being judged and failing. My fear of not satisfying my self and my audience. My fear of not being good enough even though there's a voice inside of me that knows I CAN bring music to the ears of the deaf.
How do I know it is pain I feel? Because whenever I hear my favorite performers sing or whenever I watch voice talent shows I feel my heart sink. Then my chest tighten. Then my throat starts to dry up and I begin to tear up. Because in those moments of pure envy and regret I realize I'm not fully living my life because of all the doubts I have.
One of these days I will perform for an audience not with a group but as a solo artist. People will come to watch and hear me.
Sorry for the sad post.
Much emotions and thoughts,
-smart aleck
